


How To Make A Miraculous Meatloaf.

by Willcraftapple11



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Canon Typical Swearing, Exactly 8 (eight) swearwords, No Deer were harmed in the making of this story, all of them are basically the same, let the clown friend be happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2019-01-27 22:36:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12592052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willcraftapple11/pseuds/Willcraftapple11
Summary: You watch Gamzee's newest Grubtube video. He and a Special Guest make a meatloaf.





	How To Make A Miraculous Meatloaf.

“Its a miraculous motherfucking morning today you miracles of life and today we will learn how to make a bitchtits delicious meatcake! We also have as a guest-friend one of my bestest of bros- Tavros! Say hi, friend.” Gamzee declared with great happiness gesturing to the smallish troll sitting beside him. “Uh, hi, I guess? So, uh, how will we start Gamzee?” Tavros said. 

Gamzee grinned, “We need two things a deer meat, a cluckbeast egg, oatmeal, and a single packet of that onion soup mix you can get basically anywhere! Tavbro would ya hand me the bowl?” Placing the large bowl down in front of himself, Gamzee grabs one of the meat tins. “You take the meat and ya put it in the bowl, let your energy flow, give them a nice lil pat. Now you take an egg and plop it in, after cracking it, you could also just set the entire thing in there for that extra Cronch, which is bitchtits miraculous if you ask me, though karbro hates when I do that.” He said as, from the other room a crab screeched which is crabs. “Pour the entire packet of onion soup and ¾ a cup of oatmeal. That’s all of your miraculous goods in a wonderful bowl.” Gamzee tosses the empty packets of onion soup and meat into the trash turns towards off camera. “Karbro!” He calls. “WHAT IS IT GAMZEE?” Karkat screeches, crablike. “Need your help, bro!” He responds. Crabbing onstage Karkat sighs, “WHAT DO YOU NEED HELP WITH GAMZEE?” “Could you mix together the meat and stuff together, bro?” Gamzee asked. “WHY CAN’T YOU DID IT YOURSELF OR HAVE TAVROS DO IT?” Karkat questioned, crabbily. “It’s mean to the meatcake! :o(“ Gamzee cries as Tavros says blankly “I cannot reach the bowl and I dislike horned-beasts.” He has lost all shock due to constant bombardment to the insanity that is literally anyone other than Aradia and Sollux. 

Karkat grumps crablike “ALRIGHT, FINE. I’LL MIX THE STUFF.” He moves further onscreen and starts smashing together the meatcake mixture. As Karkat mixes the meatloaf Tavros rolls over to the oven and says “Now you wanna set your baking-machine to a nice 350º Fahrenheit degrees and get it all nice and hot and stuff. Once your ingredients are mixed pour them into a glass container like the one Gamzee has and bake for one and a half hours.” Karkat crabs off after mixing together the meatcake violently with a shouted “DON’T FORGET TO TURN OFF THE FUCKING OVEN WHEN YOU’RE DONE GAMZEE, I DON’T WANT A REPEAT OF LAST MONTH!” “haha aight bro,” Gamzee honks happily, turning back to the camera. “And that’s basically all ya need to make a motherfucking meatloaf. See you next week, where we make some cake!” He honks once more and the video ends. 

It has 200k hits on Trolltube and the comments are waging war over what quadrant Gamzee and Tavros are in.

 

**TOP COMMENTS:**

**HAIL HER IMPERIAL CONDESCENCION.**

 

**TrollersUnite: Ob^iously Gamzee and Ta^ros are in hearts! Ha^e you not seen how Gamzee looks at Ta^ros with ob^ious adoration? Theres** **_clearly_ ** **some hearts being thrown around!**

**TheLizardLicks: YeaH! Go to** **4:13** **an** **6:12** **! Itz tHere! Itz actually kinda obviouz Honeztly…** **TheRomanceExpert** **wHat do you Have to zay on it??**

**TheRomanceExpert: SEEING AS I AM, IN FACT, A FUCKING** **_GOD_ ** **AT DETERMINING ROMANCE PAIRINGS IT IS VERY OBVIOUS THAT GAMZEE AND TAVROS ARE IN HEARTS. NICE JOB AT SEEING THE FUCKING OBVIOUS.**

**TheLizardLicks: Knew it! Can’t wait until next week, Gamzee zomeHow Haz tHe BEZT recipiez for zweetz!**

**TrollersUnite: Ikr.**

 

**BeesareloveBeesareLife: Who diid the Clo2ed Captiion2 for thii2 viideo? Whoever iit ii2 iif you need a concu2pent troll iin the Red when the drone2 come IIm avaiilable. ‘Crabbiing on2tage, Karkat 2iigh2’ hiilariiou2!**

**CullersAnonymous: If yew knead one I am perfectly willowing.**

**BeesareloveBeesareLife: IIT WA2 A JOKE. WHAT II2 WRONG WIITH YOU TROLL2. II am dii2gu2ted.**

**CullersAnonymous: Well yew** **_asked_ ** **, didn’t yew?**

**BeesareloveBeesareLife: Blocked.**

 

You boggle vacantly at the comments section for a while, until Frogdad ribbits to tell you that it’s dinnertime and to please, for once in your life young lady, to come eat with your poor poor lusus. “Ffffine dad! I’m croaking I’m croaking.” You call down the stairs, slamming off your poor grubtop. Falling down them gracefully you eat the Miraculous Motherfucking Meatloaf and enjoy the Late Night with your dad. 


End file.
